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If ONLY - Five Minute Friday Post

Karen Sebastian - Sunday, December 10, 2017

If ONLY

Fear not, only believe. Mark 5:36 ASV

What happened as you looked at this idyllic photo of a secluded cabin in the mountains? Did your heart say - now that is what I wish my life were like right now? You are not alone.

This is the my fifth Christmas without my first husband, Bill. I remarried a widower in June of this year. It is his second Christmas without his first wife. There could be a lot of "if-only's."

The temptation is to go to one extreme or the other. One would be to shut off all the pain and every emotions due to the loss of that loved one and thus, diminish the present joy. The other is to be so consumed with sadness and regret that you don't allow yourself to enjoy life again.

If you are struggling with painful loss due to the death of someone you love deeply, I encourage you to do what we do with it. We have learned to "enjoy missing them." Let me explain. It means that we let the memories roll with happy ones that pop up. We speak fondly of those memories and appreciate the legacy they left us. We distill the best of the experiences yet continue to the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Something wonderful happens at that point. There may be tears or there may be laughter. Regardless, we feel richer and more filled with hope. Why don't you try it?

STOP

Please join a vibrant community who blogs on one word every Friday for five minutes by clicking here.


Author, speaker, corporate trainer, ordained minister and Hope Catalyst, Karen Sebastian enjoys sharing her rich life experiences with others – engaging them in adventurous discoveries of the beauty of hope in a dark, cloudy world. Her books will inspire you to embrace hope no matter what you are going through. To increase hope and improve relationships with yourself and those that you love, sign up to receive Karen's emails.

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Comments
Gayl commented on 10-Dec-2017 06:11 PM
Karen, I love this! Letting the old memories come, whether happy or sad, acknowledging and accepting them, yet living in the present to enjoy the gifts God gives even now.

Blessings to you! I'm happy to be your neighbor at #FiveMinuteFriday this week. I'm a little late to the party. :)
Michele Morin commented on 11-Dec-2017 08:36 AM
Wow, Karen, what a unique blending of loss and joy will be yours this Christmas. Blessings to you as you share your story with others.
Debbie Putman commented on 11-Dec-2017 10:38 AM
Enjoy missing them, yes, I can do that. This is the ninth Christmas without my daughter, Kimberly Joy. The word JOY sprinkled throughout the house reminds me of the fun and laughter she brought to my life.
Anita Ojeda commented on 12-Dec-2017 10:58 AM
What a great way to honor your loved ones and build your new marriage!
Mary Hill commented on 12-Dec-2017 06:16 PM
I love this. I miss my father terribly this time of year, but like you I let the joy of my memories flood me instead of the sadness of missing him. I also remind myself that my father is with the Reason for the Season in Heaven now.

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Hopegrams

Hope Rays

If ONLY - Five Minute Friday Post

Karen Sebastian - Sunday, December 10, 2017

If ONLY

Fear not, only believe. Mark 5:36 ASV

What happened as you looked at this idyllic photo of a secluded cabin in the mountains? Did your heart say - now that is what I wish my life were like right now? You are not alone.

This is the my fifth Christmas without my first husband, Bill. I remarried a widower in June of this year. It is his second Christmas without his first wife. There could be a lot of "if-only's."

The temptation is to go to one extreme or the other. One would be to shut off all the pain and every emotions due to the loss of that loved one and thus, diminish the present joy. The other is to be so consumed with sadness and regret that you don't allow yourself to enjoy life again.

If you are struggling with painful loss due to the death of someone you love deeply, I encourage you to do what we do with it. We have learned to "enjoy missing them." Let me explain. It means that we let the memories roll with happy ones that pop up. We speak fondly of those memories and appreciate the legacy they left us. We distill the best of the experiences yet continue to the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Something wonderful happens at that point. There may be tears or there may be laughter. Regardless, we feel richer and more filled with hope. Why don't you try it?

STOP

Please join a vibrant community who blogs on one word every Friday for five minutes by clicking here.


Author, speaker, corporate trainer, ordained minister and Hope Catalyst, Karen Sebastian enjoys sharing her rich life experiences with others – engaging them in adventurous discoveries of the beauty of hope in a dark, cloudy world. Her books will inspire you to embrace hope no matter what you are going through. To increase hope and improve relationships with yourself and those that you love, sign up to receive Karen's emails.

 Facebook  | Instagram | LinkedIn | Twitter | Home


Comments
Gayl commented on 10-Dec-2017 06:11 PM
Karen, I love this! Letting the old memories come, whether happy or sad, acknowledging and accepting them, yet living in the present to enjoy the gifts God gives even now.

Blessings to you! I'm happy to be your neighbor at #FiveMinuteFriday this week. I'm a little late to the party. :)
Michele Morin commented on 11-Dec-2017 08:36 AM
Wow, Karen, what a unique blending of loss and joy will be yours this Christmas. Blessings to you as you share your story with others.
Debbie Putman commented on 11-Dec-2017 10:38 AM
Enjoy missing them, yes, I can do that. This is the ninth Christmas without my daughter, Kimberly Joy. The word JOY sprinkled throughout the house reminds me of the fun and laughter she brought to my life.
Anita Ojeda commented on 12-Dec-2017 10:58 AM
What a great way to honor your loved ones and build your new marriage!
Mary Hill commented on 12-Dec-2017 06:16 PM
I love this. I miss my father terribly this time of year, but like you I let the joy of my memories flood me instead of the sadness of missing him. I also remind myself that my father is with the Reason for the Season in Heaven now.

Post a Comment




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Trackback Link
http://www.karensebastian.com/BlogRetrieve.aspx?BlogID=15965&PostID=1001268&A=Trackback
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